Anti-tax whackos invent own language

The humor on the man's face on the right is misplaced. He's mentally ill and a follower of a man called David Wynn Miller, an anti-tax activist whose followers have adopted a bizarre language in court to avoid punishment for not paying taxes.

The smiling man, Jared Lee Loughner, also follows 9-11 conspiracies that state the World Trade Center was brought down with controlled explosives or was an intentional false-flag operation designed to convince Congress to tear the Constitution to threads. That's a mixed metaphor because the Constitution is written on parchment, so the operation on 9-11 was designed to shred the Constitution. That's better.

Miller, the subject of this week's "In From the Cold", is a former tool and die welder who belongs to a bizarre group known as the Sovereign Citizen Movement.

The Movement has convinced the same people who believe Obama is not American to adopt a language he calls "QUANTUM-LANGUAGE-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR when trying to convince judges in the United States and Canada that those governments have no jurisdiction over them. In other words, no court under either nation's constitution can legally force these crazies to pay taxes because the courts have no jurisdiction over them.

Wynn, of course, holds seminars all over the U.S. and Canada and charges money to people who want to learn the tricks to not paying taxes. And to stay out of jail for not paying taxes. Talk about bad syntax--that was my fault.

Anyway, here's an example a stupid person, after paying 50 bucks to attend one of Miller's seminars, might tell a federal judge who wants to know why he hasn't paid taxes for 10 years.

"FOR THE FORMS OF OUR PUNCTUATIONS ARE WITH THE CLAIM OF THE USE: FULL-COLON=POSITION-LODIO-FACTS, HYPHEN=COMPOUND-FACTS =KNOWN, PERIOD=END-THOUGHT, COMMA-PAUSE, AND LOCATION-TILDES WITH THE MEANINGS AND USES OF THE COMMUNICATIONS WITH THE FULL-COLON OF THE POSITION-LODIAL-FACT-PHRASE WITH THE FACT/KNOWN-TERM OF THE POSITIONAL-LODIO-FACT-PHRASE AND WITH THE VOID OF THE NOM-DE-GUERRE = DEAD-PERSON."

"According to Miller," the Internet says, "the addition of hyphens and colons to one's name turns the person from an ordinary, taxable human into a non-taxable 'prepositional phrase.'"

So, Miller claims, if you write your name  like this, you can avoid paying taxes: 

: David-Wynn : Miller

Also according to Miller, only nouns have legal authority.

Now, if you are like me you are probably saying to yourself, "What the %&$# is wrong with this guy" or saying, like I am thinking, "I am so sick and tired of these Comma-pause=hyphen-JACK-tildesASSES who are creeping around out there in my country?"

Which brings us to Jered Lee Loughner, the guy in the photograph, who is smiling but in actuality, should be crying. He's the man who opened fire on a crowd of people, including U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (R-AZ) as she spoke to supporters outside a Tuscon shopping center. She survived, but six people did not, including a 9-year-old girl.

Miller said he is appalled at what Loughner did but says he does agree, however, with Loughner's postngs on government mind control and grammar, according to an Internet biography of Wynn.

Here are four cases in which people have tried to use Wynn's language to avoid convictions and the results:

In 1998 Miller assisted Illinois resident George Johnson in his legal defense against child molestation charges. Johnson was convicted and returned to prison in 1999.

In June 1998 Arizona resident James McCreary filed a federal lawsuit after being arrested in February for aggravated assault and possession of drug paraphernalia. In his filing, McCreary mentions the name of his apparent mentor. McCreary's actions in court got his conviction reduced by the judge to three misdemeanors, and he was sentenced to three concurrent 60-day sentences in jail.

In August 2001, Paul and Myrna Schuck unsuccessfully used Miller's language during a tax-evasion trial in Calgary, Alberta. They were later sentenced to jail after claiming postage affixed to their clothing and signed by them made them legally equivalent to royalty.

In October 2001, Andrew William Sereda, a naturopath (a believer in natural medicines), went to jail in Calgary, Alberta, for contempt of court when he addressed a judge in Miller's language during his tax evasion trial.

So, don't feel bad if you're a little late filing taxes. At least you're not these people, who have no hope of grasping any sense of normalcy. Let's just remember that there are people out there like this and we must thank the FBI for keeping an eye on them.

Cheers!

JOHN+HYPHEN-PREPOSITION =L.= GUERRA